Have you ever had to deal with so much at once that you feel that your head is going to explode? I guess you could say that I am going through that right now. In terms of my book, I have been promised that it would soon go to market. However, that promise has been pushed off to another day, week, or perhaps a month. I will be thrilled for the one day in the future that I could announce to you all that it is officially done. Until then, thanks for checking in.

I Hate Being Sick!

Unfortunately, I have been quite ill this week. I had to take off from work the entire week. Every day, another ailment occurs. A few days ago, it was my nose where I was constantly sneezing while running temperature. The day after that I started to have a dry hacking cough. At night I have difficulty breathing. I literally live next to my humidifier. I don't know why I am writing or sharing this with you all. However, I just hope this virus leaves my system forever. Sometimes, I use my blog as a journal in hopes that positive, good people read it and will maybe send me positive energy my way. Energy, that is something I could use about now. Thanks for reading and being part of my venting session.

When One Door Closes, Another one Opens

When one door closes, another one opens. I don't know how many of you witnessed that in your own lives. I have definitely seen the mysterious hands from above open my doors when all my doors were slammed shut. If you've been reading my blog, then you know that my husband and I were victims of Hurricane Sandy. We lost our first floor of our home and both cars were gone. However, something great came out of Sandy which I am not going to disclose at this time. At one point in my life, I was engaged. The man I was engaged to was verbally abusive. I stayed with him for ignorant reasons: security (the feeling that you are in a relationship and not alone). I also adored his home as silly as that sounds. He lived by the water and I love the water. However, tragedy set in and I was forced to leave him. I am thankful that I did. If I had not left him, I am not quite sure if I would be here writing today. It turned out that he was not quite well. It was hard for me to see that. Love can sometimes lead you into a warped reality where you are blinded by your desires, needs, and wants. I thought that was it and I would never be with anyone. My friends were very good to me at the time. However, I had to be strong on my own. I met my husband six months later. When a door closes, life may seem unbearable, upsetting, and repulsive. However, we don't realize that when these doors close, it may be in our best interest. When your door shuts tight, try to release it by living your dreams. Live your life! Then when you least expect it, be prepared and your door may open. When you walk through this mystical door, you may find yourself in a glorious garden or by a beautiful placid lake. I don't know where you'll be because it is your life and your dream.

Update

Hi just wanted to update everyone. We hired a contractor and they put the walls up and will work on painting next. Then, I have to do a new kitchen considering, I have no oven, refrigerator, and my tiles are cracked. Also, all my countertops were removed along with my cabinets. I have one awful naked kitchen. I also need a floor. I have a lot of work ahead of me. I am hoping my book, "IGNITION, A TEACHER'S JOURNEY"will be ready in a month. However, I am not sure, but hope for the best. Thanks for reading this update :0). One thing I can say through this awful experience is to stay strong and hang tough because if you don't, no one else will do it for you.

My current home status

Good news! My husband, Lucky, and I moved out of my aunt and uncle's house and moved into my parents' home. Bad news! They were hit by Sandy too. However, not as bad as me. Since they had carpeting, they had lots of mold in their home. They had to sanitize and have their walls taken down up to four feet high. My walls also had to be taken down up to five feet. In my home, there is still no electricity. So, we are basically living in a place with no walls and no floor; just cement. However, we are all together and that part is nice. We are in the midst of hiring a contractor. This process will surely take a long time. I hope to be in my home by the Spring. My book is on hold and don't know when that will ever be complete. I tell myself always to focus on one thing at a time. That is what I have to do. In the mean time, I am thankful that I am one step closer to getting my life back than I was a month ago. I just want to wish everyone Happy Holidays! If you were also affected by Sandy or something else is going on in your life that is difficult, make a list of all the positive things you have in your life. Live in the moment and count all the blessings and goodness you have.

How One Hurricane Can Turn Your Life Upside Down!

Hurricane Sandy has taken over my life, dehumanized me, and left me too much stress. When I say dehumanize, I am referring to my husband and I living out of a bag in my aunt and uncle's living room. We are staying on a pull out couch. I am not complaining exactly because at least a roof is over our heads. However, I used to have more independence where I was immersed in freedom's glory. I could take my Toyota Corolla and drive to where ever I wanted. Since my car is gone, I cannot do that anymore. The worst is that I went home a week ago to continue to assess damages. I saw that my floor was picked up from the water and it turned into peaks and mini mountains. You have to be very careful where you step in order to not fall. Also, I was told to discard all of my belongings on the first floor. When I bought the house, a mini bar came with it. It was beautiful and full of mirrors and lights that lit up so bright. On the bottom, there was space where I could place paperwork and fancy dishes as well as wine bottles. On top of the bar held glasses. I loved it. The previous owner left me a piece of fine Italian furniture where I could store my dishes and it was sturdy and beautiful. However, since the water barged into my house, greedily without a thought, and was up to four feet high, I have to throw everything away. The water in my home was not sea water, but rather water from the sewers that is quite unsanitary to hold onto and could lead to future health problems if it is not thrown away. This means that I have to purchase everything new. I already threw away my sofa which was drenched in water. I feel like part of the storm has taken a piece of me away; a piece of my life. For example, my husband and I went to Disneyworld. My pictures are all destroyed and do not have any reminders of that trip as it was on an old digital camera and pictures have been erased since then. Pictures from my bridal shower were destoyed. Recently over the summer, I threw my husband a 40th birthday party. All those pictures are gone as well. It is not as valuable as my dining room set and kitchen set that has to be thrown away. However,I love pictures and am a sucker for sentimental things. A friend at work said that I should take time out and say goodbye to the items that must go (which is about everything). We have to hire people that have to gut and clean up the home, rip out the floors. They want to charge us 9 grand. I laugh to myself and wonder where the money is coming from since my husband and I both need cars as well. If you are reading this, maybe say a silent prayer for my family and I. Say a prayer for all the people who have suffered from the evil, treacherous Hurricane Sandy. Unfortunately, my book, Ignition: A Teacher's Journey, is on hold until things hopefully turn back to normal. To be continued..... Pictures from my block: The after math from the storm, my once upon a time elegnat rug now it is washed up sitting on driveway.

Hurricane Sandy Has Shatterded My Inner Soul

Recently I was hit really hard from Hurricane Sandy. A year ago, we were told to evacuate during Hurricane Irene of 2011. We went to family and came back to peace and tranquility as that hurricane did not affect us at all. When we heard about Hurricane Sandy coming, we were not advised to evacuate and so we decided to stay. Little did we know that our lives would never be the same and we would all be in danger. Sunday, October 28th, we were informed that there would be no school on Monday for teachers and students. My husband and I were elated by the news. However, looking back we would much rather be in school than deal with such a treacherous storm. Monday, October 29th we were surprised during the day that nothing seemed to be happening besides gusts of wind and rain. We never expected what was to come. Around 5:00 in the evening, my husband noticed that a lake formed in my backyard. It looked placid, but unreal. We hoped that it would not go any further than that. Around 7:00, my husband noticed that the water in the backyard was moving towards our porch. Around 7:30, we saw the water coming slowly, seaping its way into the kitchen. We knew we had to evacuate. My dog, Lucky ran upstairs when she saw the water. She sat on my bed and watched my husband and I pack as fast as we could. We knew time was of the essence before our power would go. Our lights flickered as it teased us that any minute we would be left in the dark. Around 8:00, I was on the phone with my mother who lives down the block from me. Her side of the street does not usually flood. However, behind my house we have a creek. I told her we would be on our way and our conversation ended as the power shut off. My husband, Lucky and I were left in the dark. Lucky looked petrified. I held Lucky and went down the stairs where my ankles were greeted buy cold water that decided to conquer my home. We opened the front door and a river started to pour in, forcing its way through the front door. I screamed to my husband to shut the door and he had a difficult time closing it. My block was covered in water. Without thinking, we ran to the back door and more water entered my home like an endless waterfall. As fast as I could, we closed the door. It was a stuggle between the water forcing its way in and myself pushing it out. I told my husband that it would be too dangerous to leave and ran back upstairs. While we were upstairs, I started to envision the water climbing its way up the stairs and slowly drowning us. At this point, Lucky was crying and I wanted to join her in a good cry. However, I knew I had to be strong. I then told my husband that we had to try to escape. We dashed down the stairs and at this time the water had risen and was up to my knees. I treaded through the water in my own home towards the door. I opened the door. Again, the massive heavy water entered into our home with such force that it seemed like a river flowing beyond our control. When we opened the door, my mirrored podium and dog statue swam right by me and floated towards the living room. It was a scene from Titanic. I made my husband lock the door which was very difficult to do under the circumstances. We walked towards the middle of the street. I did not want to be on the sidewalk in case a tree was to fall down. The cold, water was up to my waist. Lucky held on tight in my arms while my husband carried a bag with some of our clothes in it. When I reached my mother's home, I landed in her arms hysterically crying. I thought I was going to vomit. My mother was also in tears. About twenty minutes later, we noticed that her first floor was starting to flood as well. It reached about a foot high. We ran up the stairs in the gloomy, dark. When we looked out the window, we noticed a strange blue light that seemed to light up the sky. We wondered if that light was a warning from the town to evacuate or was it an effect from the storm. I believe the light might have come from a force from the unknown, warning us that the storm was far from over. We stayed in my old bedroom. The bed was so small that my husband and I had difficulty sleeping. Lucky, however, was up most of the night. The howling winds frightened her. The next day, things had calmed down. We went to my house to check things out. Debris was all over the place. Vases lay flat on the floor. My wooden floor was picked up and was decaying from the water it was emersed in. When I looked at my home, it was unrecognizable to me. My couch was saturated with water. My area rug lifted up and was turned over, drenched. Smells of nasty fish and mildew filled my home. My home; this was the place where I would go to in order to feel safe. As I glanced at my deformed couch, I thought of the prior night to the storm, when my husband and I sat on that very sofa and watched television. People tell me that I should be thankful that my family and I are ok. I am thankful, however, part of my inner soul is crushed and lingering in a deep, dark depressed black hole that it cannot escape. I am now searching for a hotel; one that is pet friendly. Currently, I am staying with family. However, next week I really do need to find a place where we all can stay with Lucky. This entire situation is unreal. When one sees an unfortunate sight, it is easy to slip into a coma of unhappiness. To have your home taken from you in a split second is so unbearable and unbelievable that I want to yell at Mother Nature and ask her why this had to happen? For those that lost their homes as well during this hurrifcane or any other storm, I know how you feel. For those that lost a loved one during a storm or natural disaster, I am truly sorry for your loss. After the storm, I witnessed the sun shining bright the next day in the sky and realized that we are only visitors in the Eternal's universe. At times, life can be very scary. However, we need to stay strong in order to be part of this questionable world.

Lake forming in my backyard Debris in home(the day after the storm)