Tuesday, December 25, 2012

My current home status

Good news! My husband, Lucky, and I moved out of my aunt and uncle's house and moved into my parents' home. Bad news! They were hit by Sandy too. However, not as bad as me. Since they had carpeting, they had lots of mold in their home. They had to sanitize and have their walls taken down up to four feet high. My walls also had to be taken down up to five feet. In my home, there is still no electricity. So, we are basically living in a place with no walls and no floor; just cement. However, we are all together and that part is nice. We are in the midst of hiring a contractor. This process will surely take a long time. I hope to be in my home by the Spring. My book is on hold and don't know when that will ever be complete. I tell myself always to focus on one thing at a time. That is what I have to do. In the mean time, I am thankful that I am one step closer to getting my life back than I was a month ago. I just want to wish everyone Happy Holidays! If you were also affected by Sandy or something else is going on in your life that is difficult, make a list of all the positive things you have in your life. Live in the moment and count all the blessings and goodness you have.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

How One Hurricane Can Turn Your Life Upside Down!

Hurricane Sandy has taken over my life, dehumanized me, and left me too much stress. When I say dehumanize, I am referring to my husband and I living out of a bag in my aunt and uncle's living room. We are staying on a pull out couch. I am not complaining exactly because at least a roof is over our heads. However, I used to have more independence where I was immersed in freedom's glory. I could take my Toyota Corolla and drive to where ever I wanted. Since my car is gone, I cannot do that anymore. The worst is that I went home a week ago to continue to assess damages. I saw that my floor was picked up from the water and it turned into peaks and mini mountains. You have to be very careful where you step in order to not fall. Also, I was told to discard all of my belongings on the first floor. When I bought the house, a mini bar came with it. It was beautiful and full of mirrors and lights that lit up so bright. On the bottom, there was space where I could place paperwork and fancy dishes as well as wine bottles. On top of the bar held glasses. I loved it. The previous owner left me a piece of fine Italian furniture where I could store my dishes and it was sturdy and beautiful. However, since the water barged into my house, greedily without a thought, and was up to four feet high, I have to throw everything away. The water in my home was not sea water, but rather water from the sewers that is quite unsanitary to hold onto and could lead to future health problems if it is not thrown away. This means that I have to purchase everything new. I already threw away my sofa which was drenched in water. I feel like part of the storm has taken a piece of me away; a piece of my life. For example, my husband and I went to Disneyworld. My pictures are all destroyed and do not have any reminders of that trip as it was on an old digital camera and pictures have been erased since then. Pictures from my bridal shower were destoyed. Recently over the summer, I threw my husband a 40th birthday party. All those pictures are gone as well. It is not as valuable as my dining room set and kitchen set that has to be thrown away. However,I love pictures and am a sucker for sentimental things. A friend at work said that I should take time out and say goodbye to the items that must go (which is about everything). We have to hire people that have to gut and clean up the home, rip out the floors. They want to charge us 9 grand. I laugh to myself and wonder where the money is coming from since my husband and I both need cars as well. If you are reading this, maybe say a silent prayer for my family and I. Say a prayer for all the people who have suffered from the evil, treacherous Hurricane Sandy. Unfortunately, my book, Ignition: A Teacher's Journey, is on hold until things hopefully turn back to normal. To be continued..... Pictures from my block: The after math from the storm, my once upon a time elegnat rug now it is washed up sitting on driveway.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Hurricane Sandy Has Shatterded My Inner Soul

Recently I was hit really hard from Hurricane Sandy. A year ago, we were told to evacuate during Hurricane Irene of 2011. We went to family and came back to peace and tranquility as that hurricane did not affect us at all. When we heard about Hurricane Sandy coming, we were not advised to evacuate and so we decided to stay. Little did we know that our lives would never be the same and we would all be in danger. Sunday, October 28th, we were informed that there would be no school on Monday for teachers and students. My husband and I were elated by the news. However, looking back we would much rather be in school than deal with such a treacherous storm. Monday, October 29th we were surprised during the day that nothing seemed to be happening besides gusts of wind and rain. We never expected what was to come. Around 5:00 in the evening, my husband noticed that a lake formed in my backyard. It looked placid, but unreal. We hoped that it would not go any further than that. Around 7:00, my husband noticed that the water in the backyard was moving towards our porch. Around 7:30, we saw the water coming slowly, seaping its way into the kitchen. We knew we had to evacuate. My dog, Lucky ran upstairs when she saw the water. She sat on my bed and watched my husband and I pack as fast as we could. We knew time was of the essence before our power would go. Our lights flickered as it teased us that any minute we would be left in the dark. Around 8:00, I was on the phone with my mother who lives down the block from me. Her side of the street does not usually flood. However, behind my house we have a creek. I told her we would be on our way and our conversation ended as the power shut off. My husband, Lucky and I were left in the dark. Lucky looked petrified. I held Lucky and went down the stairs where my ankles were greeted buy cold water that decided to conquer my home. We opened the front door and a river started to pour in, forcing its way through the front door. I screamed to my husband to shut the door and he had a difficult time closing it. My block was covered in water. Without thinking, we ran to the back door and more water entered my home like an endless waterfall. As fast as I could, we closed the door. It was a stuggle between the water forcing its way in and myself pushing it out. I told my husband that it would be too dangerous to leave and ran back upstairs. While we were upstairs, I started to envision the water climbing its way up the stairs and slowly drowning us. At this point, Lucky was crying and I wanted to join her in a good cry. However, I knew I had to be strong. I then told my husband that we had to try to escape. We dashed down the stairs and at this time the water had risen and was up to my knees. I treaded through the water in my own home towards the door. I opened the door. Again, the massive heavy water entered into our home with such force that it seemed like a river flowing beyond our control. When we opened the door, my mirrored podium and dog statue swam right by me and floated towards the living room. It was a scene from Titanic. I made my husband lock the door which was very difficult to do under the circumstances. We walked towards the middle of the street. I did not want to be on the sidewalk in case a tree was to fall down. The cold, water was up to my waist. Lucky held on tight in my arms while my husband carried a bag with some of our clothes in it. When I reached my mother's home, I landed in her arms hysterically crying. I thought I was going to vomit. My mother was also in tears. About twenty minutes later, we noticed that her first floor was starting to flood as well. It reached about a foot high. We ran up the stairs in the gloomy, dark. When we looked out the window, we noticed a strange blue light that seemed to light up the sky. We wondered if that light was a warning from the town to evacuate or was it an effect from the storm. I believe the light might have come from a force from the unknown, warning us that the storm was far from over. We stayed in my old bedroom. The bed was so small that my husband and I had difficulty sleeping. Lucky, however, was up most of the night. The howling winds frightened her. The next day, things had calmed down. We went to my house to check things out. Debris was all over the place. Vases lay flat on the floor. My wooden floor was picked up and was decaying from the water it was emersed in. When I looked at my home, it was unrecognizable to me. My couch was saturated with water. My area rug lifted up and was turned over, drenched. Smells of nasty fish and mildew filled my home. My home; this was the place where I would go to in order to feel safe. As I glanced at my deformed couch, I thought of the prior night to the storm, when my husband and I sat on that very sofa and watched television. People tell me that I should be thankful that my family and I are ok. I am thankful, however, part of my inner soul is crushed and lingering in a deep, dark depressed black hole that it cannot escape. I am now searching for a hotel; one that is pet friendly. Currently, I am staying with family. However, next week I really do need to find a place where we all can stay with Lucky. This entire situation is unreal. When one sees an unfortunate sight, it is easy to slip into a coma of unhappiness. To have your home taken from you in a split second is so unbearable and unbelievable that I want to yell at Mother Nature and ask her why this had to happen? For those that lost their homes as well during this hurrifcane or any other storm, I know how you feel. For those that lost a loved one during a storm or natural disaster, I am truly sorry for your loss. After the storm, I witnessed the sun shining bright the next day in the sky and realized that we are only visitors in the Eternal's universe. At times, life can be very scary. However, we need to stay strong in order to be part of this questionable world.
Lake forming in my backyard Debris in home(the day after the storm)

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Teachers Can Be Like Celebrities

Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting my third grade teacher. After all these years, she has not changed. She always reminded me of a movie star. I remember as a little girl that she seemed to have a smile on her face all the time. In fact, I remember my principal coming into the room and sitting in the back of the classroom. I did not know why he was there at the time. However, now I know he was probably there to observe her lesson. She handled her lesson with grace that day. I remember that she kept a smile on her face the entire time. She also dealt with parents or the paparazzi of that time with such finesse and confidence. She stood up in front of the class every day with enthusiasm and was quite nurturing to all. I guess to give you a vivid picture of her, I can tell you that she looks a little like Sophia Loren. I remember that day she was wearing beautiful pearls and a elegant red dress. As she left the building, she left with a glamorous fur stole around her neck. To this day, she carries herself very well. She still wears the same glamorous smile on her face. She truly reminds me of a celebrity. In a way, teachers are like celebrities. They are on stage in the classroom everyday. Everyone looks at them, what they are wearing, what are they saying, and watches their every move. If you are a teacher, do you feel that your job description is similar to a celebrity's job? Educators, give yourself credit and here is your Oscar because you all deserve it. I would definitely give my third grade teacher an Oscar as well.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Teachers Face Injustices

I just viewed a video about a teacher who was a porn star in the United Kingdom. He was let go from his job because of this factor. As an educator, I don't think he should be judged from his past. If he was a porn star in the present day, then I do believe that teachers have to set an example as role models for our students. The young minds of today can be greatly influenced by a parent or a teacher and we have to strive our best in order to set a good example for them. However, I do feel that teachers are entitled to their privacy. They are entitled to their past and private life as well. In my previous school that I worked at, many teachers were single. They came in talking about which bar they went to over the weekend. However, they never discussed it in front of their students as it should be. They may also have discussed some things in their personal life that if administrators or someone with a higher authority might get wind of, they may also be at risk for losing their position. This should not be, especially if it has no bearing on their teaching. I have mentioned this before that teachers are judged too much. This led me to think of politicians as well as celebrities. So what if one day in the future we have a single president or a president that is gay? Who cares as long as they are doing the best that they can do for our country. People are too judgmental in this world and forget that we are living in the 21st century. People are also interested in everyone else's business which is not right either. If teachers are good at educating the young minds of today, then they should be allowed to do that. Respect the rights and freedom of others and your own life will be so much better. However, I do want to reiterate that teachers in the classroom whom are setting good examples for their students should not be judged on their personal life as long it does not affect their professional. I, personally don't always love hiding behind my pseudo name. However, since I did write my book based on the reality of what a teacher may face on a day to day basis, I strongly feel that I must protect my identity. Unfortunately, I do not share my goal as a writer with most of my colleagues and would love to be able to do so. However, this is the world we live in. Maybe, in the future people will be more accepting of others and teachers, politicians, celebrities, etc. will have the chance to voice their opinion and not be ridiculed or feel threatened because of it.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Voting & Politics

Election Day is coming up. Have you decided who you are voting for? I know who I am voting for. Unfortunately, there is only one candidate who is good for teachers. Naturally, he has my vote. I don't really follow politics too often. I am not one to voice my opinion on politics, the deficit, and other challenges that our country faces. When it comes to politics, I definitely have my opinions. However, they are for me to know and I prefer it that way. I do find it amusing to observe others and how they handle and voice their opinion based on the candidate that they are in favor of. I have also observed people taking this election very seriously to the point where they are having arguments on Facebook or Twitter. I find that ridiculous as everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We, the people need to respect the opinion of others and try not to contradict it, even if it does not coincide with your own. My one advice for you is to vote. My other advice to you is to vote wisely. Look at your profession and see what each candidate stands for. Decide which candidate complements your profession. We should all take a step back and realize that we all want the same thing. We want a president who will lead our country with all of its current deficits and high unemployment rate into a better country where all of our needs are met. We want our country to be at peace. In reality, we want the United States to be the land where freedom reigns.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

A Supernatural World

Do you believe in spooks, ghosts, the after life? Did you ever ponder what happens to a person's soul after we believe they have left this world. I do all the time. I often ask myself if they linger and watch us closely when we do not know it? My husband had a recent experience with what he believed to be a ghost. He did not know it at the time, but now believes that it might have been. My husband is not a believer and it is ironic for him to have a brief experience with one. My husband left the house early Sunday morning to pick up a cake for my mother's birthday. As he was backing out of the driveway, he saw a woman standing in front of his car, looking at him. Her arms stood out to the side and she was leaning to the left side. He stopped the car and looked again and then she vanished. My husband believed that he was losing his mind. He went to pick up the cake. On his way back to the car, he noticed the bakery did not seal the box correctly. Everything fell to the left side and part of the cake got on my husband's hands. He went back to the store to get another cake and licked off the icing as it was all over him. He said that the cake tasted funny. It tasted like a chemical was added to the icing. When he came home, he told me the story and mentioned to me about the lady whom he saw. When he mentioned the cake fell to the left, it struck me that the lady he mentioned was also leaning to the left. Was she warning us about the cake that could have been lethal to eat? I asked my husband who she looked like. He told me that she resembled Ingrid Bergman. To be honest, I was not too familar with her so I googled her. To my surprise, she looked like my Grandma Rose. I doubt Ms. Bergman was visiting my husband, but you never know? Ingrid Bergman's picture see below:
I am a true believer only because of what I experienced which I will share with you. When my grandfather died, I cried myself to sleep that night. I felt a soft hand touch mine at the time. I knew in my mind he was with me. Many years passed and my Grandma Dottie was taken from me. I was teaching children with Autism at the time. I knew she was battling cancer and was not doing too well. My students and I were in the lunchroom at the time. Suddenly I felt something touch my back. It was around 11:35 AM. I quickly turned around to see if one of my students' touched me and no one was there. I asked some of my colleagues if they saw someone behind me. They said that they did not and I did not tell them what I felt. I did not want them to think of me as a loon. I forced myself to not think anything of it. I went home that day to find out that my grandmother died. I asked what time she died and was informed that it was around 11:35 AM. I then felt the chills and told myself that I should try and forget about this. My Grandma Rose lived with us. After Dottie's death, about a year later, my Grandma Rose was rushed to the hospital for a heart condition. Unfortunately, she caught a very bad infection while staying in the hospital. I remember to this day that my uncle, mother, and I were sitting at the table. They were discussing how poorly my grandmother was doing. They had just come home from visiting her. It happened again. I dreaded that it would. I felt a hand touch my hair. It startled me so and screamed that they needed to call the hospital. They did as I told them and found out that a cold blue was taking place. They questioned the nurse if it was my grandmother and they had denied that it was her. Five minutes later, we received a phone call from the doctor that she had passed. At that point, I lost my mind. I marched into her room and screamed that I don't ever want to be touched again by anyone deceased. I yelled and cried and felt so powerless. Since then, I have not been visited by anyone from beyond our world or our comprehension. I regret at times saying that I did not want any more visits from the unknown. However, at the same time, I am not sure if I could handle it. I just hope and pray that these souls continue to spread their love and watch over us as they linger within our memory and our mind.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Life On This Universe

Today, unfortunately, I am home sick so I had time to ponder about the irony of life. Life can be very funny. While one person is getting ready for an event, another person in the universe may be not be feeling well, watching the same event on television. The other night, I snuggled under the warm covers while the temperature around me was brisk, cool. I thought to myself that at that same time/moment someone may not be as comfortable as I was. Another person at that same moment may be sleeping on a bench surrounded by cool temperatures and nothing to keep them warm. In Europe at that moment, some people may begin the start of their day. Other people in California have not even gone to bed yet. In reality, as human beings,we tend to be egocentric and focus on our own lives. Let's face it, we tweet, use Facebook among other sources to inform others about our life. Do we stop and think about others or do we just consume ourselves with our own daily rituals of our own precious life? While eating your breakfast, do you ever think and wonder what is someone doing in Texas right now? What is someone doing in Russia or Germany right now? In a way, I think it is hard for us to think this way. It is not because we don't want to, but rather we become so consumed and overwhelmed with the chaos life might offer us at times. One family may be celebrating a joyous event such as a wedding, Communion, Confirmation, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, or even a Quinceanera. They may be dressed in their glorious, beautiful etiquette gowns while their hair is complementing their face and dress. A man in his tux looking quite dapper. The bowtie complementing his suit from head to toe. Smiles on their faces while bright colors surround them, filled with flowers and beautiful decorum. However, on the other side of town might be another family who may not be feeling as celebratory as the previous family mentioned. They may be dressed wearing dark colors, blacks and greys and ready to say goodbye to their loved one who has been chosen to leave the universe. At any moment, a person may leave this world while one is born into it. Did you ever wonder if they pass each other by and glance at each other on their mystical journey? So many people have a story to tell. What is yours?

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Book Signing with T.D. Does Not end with a Touchdown.

Tonight I was lucky to meet the infamous Tony Danza. He was doing a book signing in Huntington, N.Y. Since I wrote about him in my blog, as to how I felt he would be most beneficial promoting my book since he was a teacher on his reality T.V. Show, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to meet him and give him a copy of the first three chapters of my manuscript. When we arrived in Huntington, we heard that he was running late. We were informed that we should purchase his book and then we would receive a letter. They were calling people up based on letters. Someone informed me that there would be about sixty people for each letter. I began talking to a woman on line and told her about my manuscript. She seemed very nice about it and told me that it only takes one person to like it. She advised me to definitely pitch my manuscript to Mr. Danza. I was letter "I" which took us about two and a half hours. A young man collecting the letters asked me as to what I was holding. He asked me if it was a script. I informed him that it was my manuscript and responded that he thought that was cool. We finally got up to the first in line. The person in front of us gave Mr. Danza their cell phone so that he could say, "hello" to them. He did speak to them graciously. The previous people that were a bunch of women were screaming out "Tony" while shouting their "oohs" and "aahs." Then finally my turn came. I explained to him that I am a teacher. At first, he was signing the book and did not look up at me. When I mentioned that I wanted him to view my manuscript, he informed me that he could not and was not allowed to. Boldly, I asked as to why. He explained that in case he wanted to use my ideas and therefore could not view it. At first, this did not make sense to me. I assured him that it was copyrighted. I wondered to myself why he refused. I could not believe myself. Was this really, shy me questioning Mr. Danza? I am not like this at all, but some inner being forces me to be strong and stand up for what I believe in. This inner being is part of my soul and it is most uncontrollable. Immediately, I called two of my friends afterwards whom happen to be attorneys, just to check this out to see if this was accurate information. Just my luck that they did not pick up the phone. My husband and I went out to dinner. I picked at my food while telling him that my book will never get anywhere. He said that I have to keep trying because you never know. When I came home I googled information regarding what Mr. Danza indicated. Sure enough, I found out that an author cannot accept a manuscript of an unpublished author as it can have detrimental effects on them monetarily and legally. I feel bad that I doubted Mr. Danza. I did mention my blog to him and he said that he could get the address for that. I gave the address to one of his people. I never would have offered him a copy of my manuscript if I knew the facts behind it. I feel bad that I put him in an awkward situation. My apologies, Mr. Danza. I do hope that he will check out my blog, but I have to say that I am writing this blog with a proud voice as I know I never would have done this a year ago. I am a shy woman who is trying really hard to overcome her shyness in order to promote something I am passionate about. I don't even recognize that shy girl anymore which is a good thing. I can say that I am proud of myself because once again, I tried.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A 9/11 Tribute

Many people ask where were you when President John F. Kennedy was assassinated? They also ask where were you on 9/11, 2001? As for JFK, I was not born yet. However, 9/11/01, I was teaching students with Autism in downtown Brooklyn. I remember that unfortunately as if it was yesterday. I went to work like any other day. When the first plane hit, I was told by my assistant teacher that it was probably a terrorist attack. I did not believe it and thought it was rather a careless pilot. Then when the second plane hit, I knew I was wrong and realized that America was in trouble. We were able to see the towers from our school building as we were located right across the bridge. When the ashes fell, our students said out loud that it was snowing. Joy and smiles appeared on their faces while sadness and fear appeared on all adult faces. In honor of this unforgettable, devastating day, I wrote a poem which I would like to share with you: It happened so fast that terrible day, Unfortunate lives were quickly taken away. Firemen, Policemen and many more were brave, Their bravery lead them to a lonely grave. Lost souls were dispersed throughout New York City, This day was certainly a pity. Please take time from your busy life to remember, I, myself won't forget that awful time in September. Take a moment of silence to commemorate those that perished, Their memory will always be cherished.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Swamped and Stressed

Hi I figured I would procrastinate and take a minute out to blog. Procrastination is never a good thing, but it must be done. Last week, I was given back the front cover graphics on how my novella, "Ignition" is going to look. They gave me a certain amount of time to tweek it if need be. There is one stipulation. They are allowing me to tweek it only one time. Afterwards, they will not accept any further comments as it has to go to print. Along with the cover, I was also given back my novella which I have to reread and edit it further. I realized that the copy I gave to Mr. Franchitti's men had some errors on it. How embarrassing!!! Who knows? He may have not read it anyway. If he did, my apologies to him. However, I am very fussy and tend to be a perfectionist and do not want the world to see errors in my book. I stayed up quite late last night rereading my book and I feel so exhausted. Besides all of the work I have to do with the book, I also have to write lesson plans. I have forms that need to be printed out for each student. I have tons of work for school that I need to do. There is never enough time in the day. I do have to keep this blog short as time is of the essence and I need to accomplish alot in a short amount of time.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

An Amazing Story

While I was in Maryland last weekend, I had the pleasure of meeting a brave woman who overcame many horrid obstacles in her life. My husband and I met her at a Megabus stop where we had to wait 45 minutes for our bus to arrive. We were offered the opportunity to pay extra and take an earlier bus. However, the woman we met advised us to wait as the extra time would not make a difference in the end. I am happy that I waited as I was given the chance to listen to her interesting story. She was born in Maryland. Her father was taken ill and at the time he had a new wife. Basically while he was sick, her "so called" family left her. She was only fourteen at the time. She was all by herself in this lonely, dark world. She was able to stay with friends. However living with friends versus living with family is completely different, especially for a fourteen year old girl. To not be able to hug and cry to a mother/father is a Solitariness lifestyle that can be quite upsetting. Later in life she went to school with a scholarship because she was an athlete. She played field hockey. Unfortunately, she was hurt and could not continue to play. She did however finish her degree which I believe to be admirable considering all of the challenges she faced. She met a man who was unfortunately abusive to her. She became pregnant and ran away from her boyfriend as she wanted to protect her child from him. On the bus going home, I told her that I find her to be an extremely courageous woman. She did not give up hope despite all the obstacles she faced. Many people that I know would not have been able to handle it the same way she did. I asked her permission to blog about it and she agreed. The only thing I would like to say is that I hope I was able to give her story justice.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Hi, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am on twitter @marrose215 so you can keep up on my latest updates and feel free to comment as well. In fact, comments are most appreciated. In terms of tweets, I welcome all topics, even politics :) Just to let everyone know, I started school on Tuesday. My students start tomorrow so I am all kinds of jitters right now. Just wanted you all to be aware of what I have been up to. I apologize for this blog being so short but, I need to get my rest for tomorrow. I did promise a woman that I met in Maryland that I would tell her incredible story which I will do in my next blog. Stay tuned.

Taking A Risk Towards "Franchittiland"

Taking A risk is a hard and challenging thing to do. I am one to not take risks and play it safe. If you read my first blog titled, "Michelle Arrose: A Teacher's Journey to Literary Success," I mentioned three intriguing people that I believe would be a wonderful asset to promoting my book. I mentioned Tony Danza who just recently wrote a book on how he owes his teacher's an apology. I also mentioned the infamous Robert Deniro. Last, but definitely not least, I mentioned Ashley Judd as she is an excellent orator. I also admire her intelligence. Well, my way of reaching out to her was through her other half. I really did not want to do this at first. However, my husband believes in my novella and reinforced me to take action in order to market it. I often ask him if he believes in my book because he is my husband? However, he is an educator as well and feels for the main character, Karen Woolsworth's dilemma's and what she has faced. A couple of months ago, my husband told me that Dario Franchitti, Ashley Judd's husband, would race on Labor Day weekend in Baltimore, Maryland. My husband suggested we go and it is a known fact that race car drivers tend to have autograph sessions. He suggested that I give him a copy of my manuscript that he can read and pass it on to his wife. Shyly, I told my husband that he should hand it to Mr. Franchitti while I hide on the bleachers. We booked tickets to the racing event and got a great deal on a hotel. I guess the reason I did not want to do this was that I did not want to face rejection. However, my husband always says that if you don't take a chance, you will never know. "Those that don't take chances will never live their dreams." Besides if nothing comes out of this, I made sure to make dinner plans with my sister and brother in law as they both live in Maryland. I also would get to have a unique experience watching a race which is a cool thing to do. Time marched on and before we knew it, we had three days before our trip. I edited my novella for the umpteenth time and was ready to place it in an envelope for Mr. Franchitti. There were manuscript papers all over the place and I had to make sure everything was coordinated in chronological order. I also was under a deadline as my manuscript was due before the end of August to the publishing company that I am working with. As we were finally ready for our adventure, I started to feel a sense of courage. I told my husband that I would be glad to hand Mr. Franchitti my manuscript if given the opportunity. I believe in my novella as well and know that people could get a better understanding of the educational world and see what teachers face on a daily basis if they read it. However, my husband did last minute research for the race schedule. He observed that on Sunday there would be no autographing session and we had tickets for Sunday. I told my husband that we both did not research this event correctly and knew at this point, we would not meet Mr. Franchitti. I was so looking forward to handing him my manuscript, not because of Ms. Judd, but because I was really interested in his opinion as well or just knowing that he read it is an honor. I do have respect for him as he has a treacherous job and faces it courageously when he is out on the track. My husband called the track and they said that when we go down, at best we could possibly meet a rep. I knew going down there my chances were slim to none. However, I had dinner plans with my sister and brother in law Saturday night and was happy about that. Sunday finally came and we left for the race. We walked around the race area and asked security where we could find a rep. They told us to try rhe Convention Center. We walked inside the building and saw some race car games set up for children. However, I was carrying my envelope with me and was hoping to find a rep. We saw the most adorable man that reminded me of Morgan Freeman. We asked him how we could find a rep and he said if we don't have a Paddock Pass then we might have difficulty finding a rep. The Paddock Pass allows you to go into the grarage where the driver's are. I felt so sad at the moment and we told the man our reason why we were there. Being the negative person that I could be at times, I told this man I would probably never find a rep. The man said that I will find one and he would show us where the garage was. He did mention that he is really not supposed to leave his post. We both said that we did not want him to get into trouble. He chuckled and said that he's ready to retire anyway. He escorted us to the garage area where we were greeted by a race car which was kind of neat. There we were told that if we wanted to go into the garage, we had to buy a ticket to upgrade us into the Paddock area. We decided that we would go for it and bought the tickets. We went into the garage and sure enough saw Franchitti's truck. Scott Dixon, another famous Indy race car driver was doing autographs and taking pictures with fans. He appeared to be a very kind, friendly man. After a while Mr. Franchitti came out of his truck. I so wanted to give him my manuscript but could tell that he was unapproachable at this time. He hopped on a motorcycle and drove off ignoring all his fans. At first I was taken back by this. However then I thought about it and he appeared to look upset. I know I have no right to judge him as something could have happened to his car that could have upset him. It's funny how if a person appears snooty or unapproachable, you may classify them as a snob. However, it is not fair to do that. No one knows what the other person is thinking or feeling and we have to be big enough of a person not to judge. My husband did meet a rep, Mr. Sampson and he promised to put the manuscript in Mr. Franchitti's lounge. It is only up to Franchitti to take the time out and read it. Afterwards, we walked around and met a really cool driver named Charlie Kimball. Unfortunately, he is a diabetic and because of this he drives for this cause which I found to be a wonderful and admirable thing for him to do. A family member of mine has diabetes and therefore anyone that participates in something for this cause really touches my heart strings. Later we went back to the garage where we again saw Dario ride off on his bike. He was three feet at the most, away from us. How cool is that? Anyway, the exciting race began and this was my first racing event. I found it to be an interesting, unique sport to view which was a lot of fun. I do admit that I don't enjoy seeing a car crash and smoke come under it lighting up the pavement. Well, I some what accomplished what I set out to do. My negative inner beastly being fears that he may discard and throw away my hard work. However, I would hope that he would not do that and would respect someone's work. My husband tells me that he believes he would read it at his leisure and lectures me that I need to believe in myself more and to have faith in humanity. I know he is right. My advice to you is not to give into your negative inner being as it could eat you up. My other advice is not to judge someone as you will never know the true reason for the picture the person is displaying in front of you. Unless you have a crystal ball, you don't know the future, but I guess if you don't take a risk and face possible rejection, you will never know.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Update: To Self-Publish or Not To Self-Publish: That Is The Question

Hi everyone. I just wanted to keep everyone updated and let you know that I decided to go ahead and self-publish my novella. I believe in my book and feel it needs to get out there. Yesterday, I took a leap of faith and finalized the deal. My novella will be available on e-books as well as soft covered. I believe it will be on the market by the end of October or early November. I will keep you all updated on its developments.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Do You Offer Assistance Or Not?

Do You Offer Assistance or Not?
Last night, I had a very nice evening with my husband and friends. We all went to see a comedy club in NYC. We viewed many comedians from the infamous Saturday Night Live as well as the writers from SNL. Some of the comedians we saw were: Vanessa Bayer, Kate Mc Kinnon, and Jay Pharoah. There were many other comedians as well. However out of all, my favorite was Mr. Pharoah. He was hysterical and does a great Chris Rock imitation as well as President Obama. It was a very comical night. When we left the comedy club, we made our way back to Penn Station. We had ten minutes to make our train which was more than enough time. My husband is still getting over his virus so he was a little out of it. Suddenly, I saw a young girl board the train. I am definitely not good at telling age. I would say that she was between 19-25. She appeared to be shaken up and distraught. Then, I heard her crying hysterically. I felt bad for her. I questioned myself if I should say something and see if she is alright. However, I felt funny about doing that and read my book instead. I kept getting interrupted by her sobbing which definitely increased a few octaves. I asked my husband if I should say something who was half asleep. He said that I could if I wanted to. I decided to glance out my window as if I did not hear anything. I started to feel guilty and thought about Catherine Susan "kitty" Genovese. I thought of how she cried and screamed for help while she was being attacked, raped, stabbed and no one came. When most people see some one distraught, do they offer the person a hand? Isn't it a known fact that it is much easier to look away and pretend you did not hear anything? I knew that the girl's cry on the train could not be remotely compared to the screams of Ms. Genovese. However, I don't like to see some one so distraught. I asked myself, do I really want to be a regular statistic standing by, watching from afar and ignoring these girl's tears? I want you to stop reading this and take a second. Close your eyes and pretend it is you on the train and not me. What would you do? Would you question her to see if she needs help or would you look the other way? Well, I forced myself to do the noble thing. I stood up and asked her if she was ok. She said that she was fine and thanked me for coming over to her. Her crying subsided. In looking at her, I could tell that she was not crying because she was in any physical pain. Nothing severely wrong had happened to her which was a relief. I imagine that her boyfriend and her must have had a fight and he broke up with her. Who knows? What I do know is that I offered help from one woman to another. I am proud that I did not watch from afar and look the other way. If we help someone in need, it makes you feel good as well as that person. I ask you to try to do a good deed today. It will make you feel so good inside and out.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

To Self-Publish, or Not To Self-Publish: That Is The Question: I know in my first blog, I was adamant about not going through the expensive self publishing process. However, I may have to reconsider as I truly believe in my novella and think that anyone who reads it would open their eyes and view educators differently. I have been talking with a few self publishers and my dilemma is that I am only entitled to one copy of my book. If I wanted more copies, then I would have to buy more. Imagine that; purchase my own book. However, I am not the best with the aspect of marketing. Supposedly self publishers would assist me in terms of marketing. I definitely decided to have a professional editor assess it. However, this project can be costly. Besides teaching, I may need to get a second job:). If I let the project go, then what did I accomplish? Nothing. I couldn't live with myself if I did not try. I tend to be very hard and critical of myself. My inner demon is shy. It would rather run away from this project as it is afraid of rejection. However, my "id" has grown to be stronger and tries to combat my inhibited demon. In fact, it is because of my "id" that I am writing this blog in the first place. I wonder, did you ever take a risk and try to do something; not knowing the consequence? Personally, I despise not knowing what is going to happen next. The element of surprise is frightening in my eyes. My husband threw me a surprise birthday party once and I knew he was going to. It is very difficult and next to impossible to surprise me. He never told me, but I knew. Of course, it did not help that my friend texted me that she could not be able to attend. It also did not help that when I pulled into my driveway on that Sunday afternoon, I saw a Lexus parked. Sure enough, I came into my house and was greeted by the word, "Surprise!". However, this journey I am taking is very different from an average surprise party. It is rather a pilgrimage for myself heading towards the unknown. That could be very scary. So, today I am asking you if you think I should take the plunge and self-publish my novella? Do I wait and see if a publisher will take on my book? Feel free to leave a comment. Need assistance regarding this matter. In the mean time, I thank you for reading this.
Drew Barrymore: “If you don't take risks, you'll have a wasted soul.”

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Don't Let Your Nightmares Destroy You

You Can't Hide From Genocide. "However, it is good to educate yourself and others but if you breathe, smell, and try to taste it everyday, it will destroy your soul." Many people in this sad world have faced many tragedies. Some might be personal and others might be more conventional such as the loss of a loved one. Some people might have been sexually assaulted as a youngster or even raped as an adult. Others may have been violated in another way or form. Some people tend to use their emotional ordeal in order to educate others about the statistics of what it is they are trying to inform us on. I imagine that anyone who constantly educates on a devastating/emotional topic has to extrinsically and intrinsically relive it daily. I imagine that those people that preach and educate others do not sleep at night as all of their nightmares that they talk about during the day, come to life at night. Outside, they seem fine, but I know that if you deal with a horrid topic daily and consume yourself with it every second, it will suck upon your inner being. As an educator, I had to take professional development courses for my thirty and above, my masters. When teachers complete their 30 credits, they receive a stipend in their salary. As a young girl, I was always fascinated to learn more about the Holocaust. I lost family memebers to the Nazis and always wondered about the travesties they faced. I was fortunate to take a class at the Museum of Jewish Heritage: A Living Memorial to the Holocaust, in NYC. I strongly reccommend you visiting it. I must say this museum is wonderful. I took different courses there for three summers in a row. The first summer I took the course with a friend; not knowing what to expect. It was a basic introduction to the Holocaust. The following summer, I decided to further educate myself on this topic and took another two courses. These courses were given a week apart. One course dealt with America's view and their strategies that they did under FDR's ruling during this time. The other dealt with survivors of the Holocaust. I had the pleasure of meeting many survivors as well as the infamous, Ruth Gruber. She was a journalist that traveled to Europe to escort many war victims to safety. In 2001, Natasha Richardson starred as Ms. Gruber in the movie, "HAVEN". This film I strongly reccommend you see.
The third year I took another class during the summer. The course was also wonderful. One course I took was titled, "Genocide." This course did not just deal with the Holocaust but rather other genocides that took place. We learned about the unfortunate happenings that occurred in Cambodia. We spoke to a survivor via webcam. We also learned about the horrific genocide of Ruwanda. We were visited by a beautiful survivor who was a Tutsi. During this genocide the Tutsi's were considered to be the minority. The Hutu's were the ones to carry out the act of genocide against the Tutsi's. This woman spoke about a time that she was home and was shot in the arm through her window. She said that if it hit an artery she would not have been alive, and considered herself lucky. I rather not write the names of these survivors as I feel they have been through enough and they may not want me writing about them. I definitely want to respect that. Although, I know that all survivors want to speak about their nightmare in order to educatoe others. We watched the movie, "Hotel Ruwanda." This is another must see flick. We also touched upon the genocide in Darfur and the struggles people of Darfur face today. As the course continued, I felt myself getting more and more anxious. There was one film that was taken in the camps. The Nazis forced Jewish prisoners to dig. After these prisoners dug, they were shot and landed in the hole that they had dug. This was done in an assembly line. The people were forced to dig their own graves and know that any minute, they would have to enter it lifeless. This piece of film was captured on camera. This video really struck a nerve with me. It is ok to watch a film where you see an actor get shot because you know it is only an actor and he/she is doing their job. However, the video I watched was reality and that gives me a whole different light on humanity. I remember I went through weeks without sleep even after this course was over. I constantly thought about it and discussed it, obsessively. I wanted to educate everyone about genocide. I do believe that one should educate others on these horrific topics. However, I do believe your inner soul needs a rest too. I know that if you eat, sleep, and breathe it, the stench will take over your dreams and lead you into a land of nightmares. You will feel trapped and hopefless and most of all frightened of others as well as of yourself. You might appear fine on the outside, but in the inside you can't be; especially with no sleep. Your body will shut down and you will fall into a dark abyss that sucks you in and you can not leave.
My message today is to continue to educate. It is important to speak about your experiences. It is also important to take a two day break from it as well. You take care of yourself because only you can. Love yourself by enjoying the beauty that life has to offer. Use one day to take a break from the daily talks, discussions, tweets, about the education of inner demons that lay upon your heart and soul. Use that day to talk about fun things such as pies, music, cupcakes, pets, etc. As for myself, I may take another course there in the near future; not for credit because I mastered that already but just as an observer. However, I did give myself a two year break. Facing your demons is important but don't let it subterfuge you into a world of a ghastly, horrific nightmare. Take time to sniff a flower, breathe in and out and that is how you can also ostracize your fears.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Lucky's Mini Vacation
How many of you love dogs? Cats? Animals in general? For all of you animal lovers, I decided to write my next blog about my dog, Lucky, vacationing with us. Since I do enjoy traveling and plan on going away with my husband, sometime in the near future; we tend to leave Lucky in a reputable kennel. I do feel bad as she never has a vacation of her own. Therefore, we try to take her away in the summer. Last year, we ventured to Harrisburg, PA. She loved it and had such a great time. I think the highlight for her was staying in a hotel room with us. However, when we left the room to get dinner, for example, she was wonderful and waited patiently in her cage until we got back. I could tell she felt special. We all decided to visit Hershey Park. Naturally, she was not allowed in so my husband stayed outside with her. My family and I went into the park to learn about the history of Hershey and venture on "Hershey's Chocolate Ride." I do have to say that this was a lot of fun. Outside the park, Lucky was getting attention from everyone. She was having a wonderful time. Most people that passed her by, stopped to pet her. In fact, the focus was taken off the park and more onto Lucky. When we came home, Lucky growled and expressed in her own way that she was not happy to be home. We knew that she would rather be away on vacation. This year we decided to take her to visit Dover, Delaware. We had to wait for my husband to get home from work. My parents came with us just like the year before. We packed up the car and we were ready to go. Lately, I noticed a change in Lucky that she has grown to be a little too dependent on my husband and I. When we leave the house, she will sometimes bark and scream on the top of her lungs. However, I thought maybe in a new place, she will be calm and enjoy herself. The car ride down there took forever. What was supposed to be a three hour ride turned out to be 5 hours. Traffic was unbearable. I must say Lucky was behaving herself. However, my parents were not. Every minute, they spoke out, "How much longer?" I even made a comment to them that Lucky is not complaining. The time came and we finally arrived to what I like to call the Bate's Motel Junior. (The hotel from the movie, "PSYCHO"). We stayed at one of Choice Hotels finest. As soon as we entered the room, the room had a musty scent. The carpeting on the floor was soiled. Lucky went to that soiled area on the rug and sniffed it repeatedly. She looked up at me as if to say, "Are you people kidding me?" By that time we were starved and put Lucky in her crate after feeding her. We left the room. Outside, we did hear Lucky bark. However, we know that she barks for a little and then usually stops after a few minutes. We continued on our way. We wanted to eat on the grounds as there was a "Bob Evans" next door to the hotel. Unfortunately, "lady luck" was definitely not with us that night and they were closed. We found out that down the road, there was a casino. They had restaurants opened late. We decided to eat in an Italian restaurant whch was pretty good. However, I could not enjoy myself as I was thinking about Lucky. I was afraid that maybe we should have not left her; especially since she was barking. I told my family that I didn't feel like gambling after dinner as I just wanted to get back to the hotel to check on Lucky. They understood and agreed. When the bill came, my father went to get change. Ten to fifteen minutes passed. Fifeen minutes became twenty. My mother became nervous and decided to pay the bill on her credit card. We left the restaurant and waited outside. There we viewed the hustle and bustle of everyone on the machines. People were walking back and forth. Some people had smiles on their face with their pockets filled with hope and winnings. Others had angry, sad faces with empty pockets. My mother told my husband to go to security to have my father paged. I kept thinking, "This is great. My father's MIA and Lucky is probally flipping out in the hotel room". I went with my husband to have him paged. I left my mother strict instructions, not to leave and stay in front of the restaurant. Security paged my father and we went back to the front of the restaurant. In disbelief, my mother was not there anymore. "Great, now she was missing". I know my family and I liked the show, "MISSING", but did they really have to make it a reality; especially with Lucky probally flipping out back in the hotel?
After a while, we finally found them. Then we all rushed back to the hotel. When we returned, we saw the room door was open. I opened the door, slowly not knowing what we were going to find. Her cage door was left open. Lucky was not in sight. I flipped my lid. (MISSING PART 2) We ran immediately to the front desk. The man told us that she was barking profusely so they took her out and left her behind the counter. There she was running behind the counter. I was mortified. A year ago, she behaved herself in the room. Here, she was causing a muck. We collected Lucky and put her to bed. She refused to sleep in her cage. We put her on the couch in the room. She refused to sleep there as well. She only wanted to sleep with my husband and myself. We allowed her to as we did not want her raising her barking voice. It is funny how this little peanut had the abilty to control us, just from the sound of her voice. The next day came and we decided to take her to the beach.
The hotel told us that the beach was only fortyfive minutes away. They also informed us that Lucky would be able to walk on the board walk as well as the beach. Fortyfive minutes was really three hours. When we arrived, there was a huge sign, "NO DOGS ALLOWED ON THE BOARDWALK." This was just great. We decided to take her to the beach in a certain area where dogs were allowed. We saw many dogs, skipping across the beach and running to the ocean. They welcomed the cool water with their paws. Many were swimming. This was Lucky's first time on the beach. When she took a look at the water, she looked as though she did not want to be there. We took her little paws to become friends with the sea. She started to becom frightened of the waves crashing against the sand. She backed away and started to cry. My husband wanted to carry her in to get her to feel comfortable. However, she started to turn a purple like color and I told him not to force her. She was afraid. Meanwhile, my parents took a walk on the boardwalk. I told my husband that I would gather my parents so that we could all leave. I went to look for them with the hopes that there would not be a MISSING PART 3. I found them right away, eating an ice cream. I was elated to see at least they were relaxing, some what. However, my mother complained, "Why did we have to go so far for a beach?" I ignored her comment and bought my husband a snack to share with Lucky. I called my husband to tell him to meet us at the car. He did not pick up the phone. I became a little anxious not knowing what Lucky was up to. After ten minutes, he called me back. It seems that a dog went up to Lucky with his nose up in the air. He said something to her in their language. He was on his way back to the ocean. Lucky stopped him from entering the water by jumping up on his back. My interpretation of their conversation was the following: Dog: "Excuse me. You are such a baby; never learned to swim. Ha ha I am heading to the ocean to relax on the peaceful waters. Tah Tah." Lucky: "I'll give you a tah tah. You're not going for swim." (Then with a leap on his back, he was down for the kill.) MY husband had to pry her off of him. He called me and we left. On our journey back to the hotel, we discussed our dinner plans. We did not want a repeat of the night before and we left for dinner in different shifts. My parents had the earlier one and we had the later one. The last day of our trip, Lucky was ecstatic to leave. She was anxious to get into the car away from that hotel. I wonder what was it about that hotel. My imagination ran wildy and I wondered if Lucky smelled the soiled floor in the room and realized that was blood from the past. Could someone have been murdered in the room we stayed in? Right before Lucky left the hotel, she turned around, looked at it, growled and pooped right in the entrance way. We all had a good laugh and knew she hated that place. We then decided to go to the Outlet stores and took Lucky inside of "Coach." This was more her speed. She got so much attention from all the customers. That when we went into another store, she was greeted by other customers that were in other stores with her. People kept coming up to her saying, " Hi Lucky." SHe owned the Outlet Stores. She had a proud smile on her face. She even tried to get me to take her into "The Lenox store." I told her, "you don't need china." I also did not need any problems with her there. We left and found a "Cracker Barrel" for dinner. We took the food to go and found picnic tables outside. We had a nice family dinner and Lucky enjoyed herself as well. It was time to go home. We traveled a long way. My mother decided to say that she was happy that it was not raining. Then she said, "Do you rmemeber that last year it rained on our way home from Pennysylvania?" Just then, as if we hadn't had a stressful weekend to begin with, the sky opened up. We saw lightning light up the dark sky. Rain started pouring down from the heavens. I said, "Thanks mom. We needed that." She said, "Woops. Sorry about that." The road was not too visible as it was quite foggy. It was s little scary
(not as scary as my derecho experience). After several hours, we were home and happy to be home. "HOME SWEET HOME." I think the happiest one was Lucky. She went right into her kennel and went to sleep.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Mastocytosis

One of my friends who also has a blog advised me to stick to one topic, such as education. I suppose that when people write their blog, this is what the norm does. However, I am not about doing what the norm does. The reason why I choose to write about many topics is to show people my many different styles of writng. So forgive me, but I want to bring you on my literary journey to demonstrate the various ways I write. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of hanging out with one of my friends. I do not usually hang out with her alone. It seems that we generally go out as a group. Yesterday was the first time I was able to enjoy her company alone. I learned so much from her. She is a very young, brave lady with the most wonderful look on life. She lives her life to the fullest that she can and am proud to know her. Unfortunately, she battles a terrible disease,Mastocytosis. I personally never really heard of Mastocytosis before, but now I am educated on the topic. That is my job today to educate you on it as well. According to wikipedia's definition: "Mastocytosis is a group of rare disorders of both children and adults caused by the presence of too many mast cells (mastocytes) and CD34+ mast cell precursors in a person's body.[1]" My friend explained to me that mastocytosis is almost as if your body is fighting too many allergies all at once. Your body is always on the defense and it is working on overload. The one thing that can help is antihistamines. At the bottom of the page I will attach some links that you can read based on this disorder. Unfortunately, my friend had a very tough year and was in the hospital many times this year. It was so bad that she did not know if she would be able to survive. She is a very strong woman and fights for her life every day. She has to inject herself daily in order to reduce the pain that she feels. She also attends a workshop held once a year on Mastocytosis. I have many friends that when they feel any type of ailment, they complain about it as if it is the end of the world. To be honest, I include myself in this equation as well. However, this woman deals with a horrid ailment and combats it daily and rarely complains about it. We can all learn from her. People also tend to stress over the small things in life. We let it tackle our soul until it eats us alive. This attack can lead us to feel sorry for ourselves. Many of us engage in self-pity as it is easy to do that. It is very easy to feel sorry and sad. However, with all of the suffering in the world intrinsically and extrinsically, maybe we should try to uplift our spirits and rise up above it. In terms of my friend, I admire her very much for her courage. I am proud of her. I can also say that I am fortunate to know her. When we sink into a world of self-pity, think of my friend and try to conquer your pity with courage leading to elation. "You can fight your inner demons as we all can. We have the power to do that. It is our soul's desire to stand tall and rise above our wallow-like behavior." Below, please view quotes I found which I thought were written quite well based on the topic of self-pity. "Self pity becomes your oxygen. But you learned to breathe it without a gasp. So, nobody even notices you're hurting.” ― Paul Monette “It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are finished." - Mrs. Miracle
A baby diagnosed with Mastocytosis. For more information on mastocytosis you can log on to the following websites emedicine.medscape.com http://www.niaid.nih.gov/topics/mastocytosis

Monday, July 30, 2012

Fifty Shades OF Shame Before I begin, please keep in mind that what I am about to write is unlike anything I have written so far. However, I was reading the book, "Fifty Shades OF Grey" and was astonished by what is in there. I call it, "Fifty Shades Of Shame" and what I mean by that is: "shame, shame" on me for reading it. However, I feel compelled to read further and find out what is going to happen next. My friend is already on the second book and I know many people who have read the entire trilogy. I must admit, my book, "Igniton", has a steamy sex scene in it between the main character, Karen Woolsworth and her husband. I can honestly say that I enjoyed writing that chapter. I do believe "sex sells." In this society, every where we turn and look, sex is around us. On billboards, there are many attractive male and female models, half naked and intoxicating. As viewers, we want to see them and as much as we block it out of our subconscious, sex forces its way out and into the eyes of humanity. When we go to a movie (especially a romantic comedy), we want to see the main character fall in love with his/her co-star. This we expect to be followed by a steamy, hot sex scene. I am not a believer in S&M. Frankly, the idea of it makes me sick. It bothers me that the main character, Anastasia Steele, would allow a man to control and dictate her every move, sexually and emotionally. I am only on chapter 10, but can't believe she would agree to some of the things she has agreed to so far. When Christain Grey told her that she needs to avoid snacks during the day except fruit, that completely shocked me. I can understand if Christian Grey was the infamous Bela Karolyi, (gymnastics coach) and Ms. Steele was Nadia Comaneci or Shannon Miller (Olympian Gymnasts). This would make more sense to me if the reason she has to watch what she eats is because of her training, but the reality is ridiculous. I do admit that I was once in a verbally abusive relationship and was told what to eat as well. My ex wanted me to eat one meal a day with him. He also bought me clothes. However, they were not provocative and I did not dress up as his "playboy bunny". Luckily for me I saw the light and left. I can understand a woman becoming submissive to a man; especially a powerful man such as Christian Grey, but how far would one go? One rich, powerful man that reminds me of Mr. Grey asked me on one New Year's Eve to go back to his place with him. As much as I liked him and desired him, I did not go and knew that I had to stick to my feminine pride. As a woman, I strongly believe that each woman has to value herself as a person before loving someone else. She should have the confidence to not use her body as a whip or a demeaning presentation of her self-worth. If the most powerful man in the world, asked her to succumb to his every move and sexual fantasy, she should realize that maybe he is powerful, but not such a prize. "If he could value me as a toy, than he must not value me or himself at all." My message today is to believe in yourself; know that you are wonderful, beautiful, handsome in the most attractive way inside and out. You do not need a Christian Grey to get your kicks. It is ok to read the book because our subconscious is most curious. I will take back what I said before as there is no shame upon us. However, value yourself as a person and as an individual soul walking on this beautiful,mystifying Earth. Breathe and enjoy yourself and know you are someone and something special. :O) "Looking back, you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life, and that person was you. It is not too late to become that person again." Robert Brault "In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can." Michael Korda "The depth of your belief and the strength of your conviction determines the power of your personality."Brian Tracy “Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.” Elizabeth Gilbert

Friday, July 27, 2012

A Treacherous Derecho Storm Hi everyone, For those of you who are interested, I started my own account on hubpages which I believe you can rate each article that I write. Feel free to check this out as well. Yesterday, July 26th, I went to visit my friend in Broolyn, NY. We met up with another colleague from our school. However, before my venture to Brooklyn began, my mother called me in the morning, warning me not to go due to a tornado watch that was headed our way. I laughed and told her that it was the most beautiful day. Two hours later, I was sippping a pina colada with my friends and enjoying the warm sun beam down on my face. It was a lovely day. There was no cloud in the sky and I felt very relaxed. We stayed at this restaurant for a while discussing how we all can not wait to retire from education, but don't want to rush into old age either. Later that day,I decided to go with my friend to a temple where we bake a certain bread for those whom are unfortunate and unable to purchase bread for themselves. Some of these people may also be elderly and it is difficult for them to get out and purchase the bread. The bread is called Challah and it is quite devine. We try to do this as often as we could because doing a good deed makes us both feel good. However, we came to the place where we bake the challah. Ironically, the door was locked. The door is usually open welcoming everyone to come in. However, I started to think to myself, does the door being closed symbolize that it is closed for me? Is it a warning that I should just go home? Suddenly, I heard my mother's voice saying, "Go home. A Tornado watch is in effect for the tristate area." I suppressed this warning and waited awhile with my friend. The ladies finally opened the door and we started making the wonderful bread. I told my friend that I would leave at 7:30 just in case a storm was coming. While baking the challah, one of the ladies said out loud, "Ha I would like to see this tornado they are talking about." I silenced her quickly telling her that I don't want any tornadoes to come as I need to drive home. Slowly, I felt a shiver go up my spine as a warning that maybe I should just leave. I avoided the warning and stubbbornly waited until 7:30 to leave. I left and was on my way to Long Island. The Belt Parkway was bumper to bumper. Traffic was moving really slow. All of a sudden, the clouds opened up and the beautiful sky turned into a dark, angry grey color. I then saw lightning shoot across the sky. I knew this could not be good. I was hoping that the cars move faster before the storm hits. However, everyone seemed to move slower than a snail. Then like a gustling waterfaill, the rain began. It was not an ordinary rain. The rain was spiraling all around me in a circular motion. My car started to shake back and forth. I tried to drive as slow and steady as possible as I knew I could any minute lose control. I could not see the white lines on the road indicating my lane. I envisioned my car being lifted into the air and ending up in the land of Oz. As much as I love that movie, I had no intention of visiting. I had the radio on the whole time for comfort. Normally, I sing with the music that I listen to. However, this was serious and could not lose focus, not even for a minute. I drove about 20-30 miles per hour. After an hour and a half, I got home and wanted to kiss the ground. However, I decided not to be too dramatic and run into the house to greet my husband and dog instead. I knew he had been calling me while I was driving out of concern for me. My friend also called a few times to check up on me. However, there was no way I would dare pick up that phone and lose an ounce of concentration. My message today is those who are steady and focused will come out at the end. Concentration is key and remaining calm is most helpful as well. When I got home I found out that this storm was called a "derecho" storm. Ths kind of storm has such strong winds that it can cause damage similar to a volcano. I am copying to show you information on a derecho storm with pictures as well written by Katie Mc Fadden. href="

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Goals and Ambitions: I wanted to take the time to clarify why I am writing this blog. It is not to just write about teaching and all of its stress that coincides with it. Although I am a huge advocate for teachers as I have seen so many unjust and unfair occurences witin this field that many faced. I am writing this blog to express myself as a writer. This is the reason why I wrote about Lucky, my dog. That was to emphasize my ability to write a short story. I am doing this blog because I love writing. My good friend who has experience in wrting commented to me that it was a good idea to mention celebrities, but it is not realistic. I agree that it is anything but realistic. It is more like a "Hollywood Fantasy." I don't believe any celebrity will say, "Great idea, Michelle. Let's do a movie together." However, it may be a fantasy, but it is my fantasy. Reality often sets in but if one was to give up on all their dreams then what is the purpose of hope. Hope is to have these dreams and fantasies because you never know. Whatever your dream may be it is important to try, no matter how frustrating it may be to keep your hopes and inspirations afloat rather than quit and have them sink. It is very easy to quit and sink to the bottom of the abyss of life. However in every soul lies a voice of encouragement. I am writing this in order to reinforce my voice. I have sent my query and first chapter to many literary agents and so far have had many rejections. In their letters, they encourage me to continue with my manuscript and it was not a fit for their company. Like I said before with words of discouragement it is very easy to quit and leave your dreams aside. It is easy to give up and walk away or even perhaps run away. However, if I do not try I will never know. The road that may be easier to take for your pride may not be the road to success. The road not taken is the road that one will never know. I guess I am writng this to touch upon everyone that if you have a dream or an idea; don't give up. I do believe in lady luck and when it is her time to come to you and sprinkle her fairy dust across your soul of desires and hopes; she will come and it will happen. In terms of myself, I enjoy writing and love it. When I am writing I have the power to write what ever I feel or want to say. I can create fictitious characters come to life by the power of my pen. You may see that in my future blogs, my writing may deal with many different topics. That is why I wrote in my first blog that I am inviting you to climb aboard the unknown, as you watch me take these steps on my journey in order to become an accomplished author. I viewed my stats from google docs. I just wanted to thank Russia for tuning into my blog. I am from Russian descent and was happy to see many checked out my blog. Thank you Germany as well. It is a great feeling to see others tune in and read what I wrote. The one request I have is that if you would like to post a commet to me, I would love to hear feedback. We could even play a game where you can let me know a topic you may want me to write about. You may want me to create a short story based on a topic of your choice. I would love to do that for you. Even though my goal is to become an author, my goal is to make my readers have a various mix of emotions: hapy sad, mad, frustrated. Please, please don't be afraid to comment. It would make me feel so much better to have feedback from the world. Please jump on and don't be afraid to be a part of my journey. Thank you again for viewing this. Keep in touch! I am posting below a phrase that encourages people to pursue their dreams:

Monday, July 16, 2012

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Hi,  my name is Michelle Arrose.  I hope that you follow me along on my journey as I try to take the steps to make it as a published author.  I am currently an educator.  I love being creative and writing my thoughts and ideas onto paper.  However, I do enjoy writing fiction.  The book that I wrote which I am trying to get published is titled, "Ignition."  It is mainly about a first year school teacher who was given an opportunity to teach in a middle school.  Unknowingly, she was assigned to teach one of the worst classes in the school.   Instead of administration backing her up, she is found to be looked upon as an awful educator with no classroom management.  However, one of her students who happens to be a troubled young man becomes part of her obsession as she starts to fear for her life. The reason I wrote this novella is because one year I was assigned an inclusion class in a middle school.  For those of you who do not know, inclusion means that there are two teachers assigned to a classroom.  One teacher is a special educator and the other is the generalist.  Together, they collaborate and come up with ideas on how to meet the needs of all of the students.  In this type of setting, no one should be able to tell which students are the ones with special needs that have an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) from the rest of the class.  That year, they took out my co-teacher and all of my students were off the wall.  They would curse at me, scream out loud,, stand on desks.  I was left for most of  the entire year without a co-teacher.  They hired a sub who basically after three days, lost his mind and threw a chair against the chalk board.  He started banging on the chalk board and quit the very next day.  Another lady that was hired as a sub was as good as the students and stood on top of the desk, preaching to them about JESUS and how they better shape up if they one day want to enter the pearly gates of heaven.  The substitute teacher, (SUB) was accused by one of my students that she pushed her.  The student reported it directly to me.  This particular student was a huge trouble maker and was filled with lies.   I did not believe her.  However, since she reported it to me, I know that you have to cover your "tush" in this field and I needed to report the information to my assistant principal, (AP).  If I didn't and the girl reported it to administration, my job would be on the line.  This student also had a nasty mother who would definitely make trouble for me because when I called her mom to let her know what her daughter was up to, she told me that her daughter would never do that.  (Her daughter was an angel from heaven, according to momma).  When I reported the information to my AP, she told me to call the sub from home and let her know that her services were no longer needed.  I felt I was put in such an awkward situation.  I  could not believe I had to fire her.  I told my AP that I felt uncomfortable doing this.  She looked at me and said that I had to.  I then told my AP that I would tell her that another sub that had worked with me in the past was coming back to work full time.  The AP said that she was fine with whatever I wanted to say as long it was done. (Wasn't that kind?)  To this day, I don't know how but I made it through the year.  That was also my tenure year.  My AP was quite spiteful and on my observation, she gave me an S- which is not a true legal score.  A teacher can get an S for a satisfactory lesson, an E for excellence (which no one usually gets) or a U for an unsatisfactory lesson.  At the end of the year, she told me that I needed to step it up.  I could not believe my ears, after the torture of not  having a co-teacher, dealing with students that were emotionally disturbed, being ridiculed by them all year long and this is what I was told. 

I am happy to say that the following year, I was given a different class and there after.   My students were more cognitively low functioning.  They were sweet adorable kids and just needed some TLC.  That AP was as sweet as sugar to me when she saw that I did such a wonderful job the following year.  I am also happy to say that I am no longer at that school and transferred to another school this past year. 

As an educator, I hear many stories from other teachers.  One teacher commented recently to me that one troubled boy in the building threatened to tear off her pantyhose and hurt her.  Other teachers I know were told they would be killed.  Another teacher came out with bruises on their arm.  This is acceptable in education as teachers are not truly protected and no one wants to and wage war against administration as they are fearful for their own jobs.  It hurts me to hear about Kathryn Camille Murray, the teacher from Texas who was accused of sexually assaulting a student, as well as sleeping with a 15 year old in particular.  Some one like that ruins it for us hard working educators.  It saddens me to see that the media always seems to look for the negativity in teachers and follow many stories similar to Kathryn's.  There are many respectable teachers, paraprofessionals, and others that work in this field that care about their students.  There are some situations where they fear for their lives (like my character, Karen Woolsworth, in my manuscript).  When they open their mouths to complain, they are seen as the worst teachers.  I have seen many cases where teachers have to face the emotional abuse everyday from their students and the administrator's abuse as well.  There have been some cases that teachers are accused of sexually assaulting students.  In this particular case, this was further from the truth.  The man accused was in his late 60's and could hardly walk.  However, he was told to leave while his case was reviewed.  The girls that accused him were not happy with their grade.  Someone very close to me worked this year in a school where there was absolutely no management in the building.  Kids ran the asylum.  They did not like this teacher because he wanted them to work.  These kids did not feel that education was necessary and would rather curse and play.  They accused him of pushing them which was further from the truth.  Four other teachers were accused of the same act before he arrived.  He felt it would be better to resign rather than to fight city hall and is working at another school, more at ease.  Teachers today face many injustices.  People tend to focus that they have the summers off so therefore, it is a great job.   However those two months they have off are well deserved.  A wise person once said, "In this field, a teacher is always found guilty before being proven innocent."  I follow these words carefully.  Bless the teachers of the world.

In terms of my book, today most people have to self-publish.  However, that could be very expensive.  Honestly I could not afford that right now with my mortgage and other expenses.  I hope to find an advocate for teachers.  Besides my manuscript being a novel, I truly see it as a screen play.   There are many movies out there that focus on educators entering a tough school with tough kids and they are miraculously able to change them.  It could happen, but most of the time, it is unlikely that it does happen.   I thought of a few advocates, but no luck yet.   I thought Ellen Degeneres would be great as I believe she is very kind hearted and has a tremendous respect for teachers of the world.  Another possibility would be  Tony Danza because he experienced first hand what it can be like to be a teacher through his reality TV show.  Unfortunately, it looks like Tony fell off the face of the earth.  Come on Tony, wake up, I need your help.  People have told me that Robert de Niro is a strong advocate.  I apologize Robert, I don't know much about you but would love your assistance.  Last but not least, I would very much like the assistance of Ashley Judd.  The reason why I say that is because she has a strong voice and is an excellent orator.  I heard that she is a member of the NEA (National Education Association).  When she believes in something, she makes it known to the world.  I commend that.  She also is a published author.   So, Ellen, Tony, Robert, or Ashley, I could use your expertise and assistance.  You never know, Ignition could be up for an Oscar one day.

In terms of myself, I tend to be more on the quiet side.  However, I definitely think I need to change that about myself.   That is why I am trying to write to you today so that you are aware of what teachers face and how they need a voice too.  I do apologize if I seem too pushy but I do have to go after this project as I strongly believe in it and hope you do too.  Please stay tuned so you can follow my steps in order to make my book become a published work.  Also, I will include chapter one from my book in another blog.  Thank you so much for reading this.