A New Perspective

For those of you who read my blog the previous day, my apologies. The politics behind education affected me in a bad way. The new evaluation system reminds me of a Nazi regime. I dealt with a lot this week and felt quite stressed. I think the expectations for teachers and students are unrealistic. Everyone is not created equal. There are some students who struggle and should not be held to the same expectations as everyone else. Teachers that work with special needs should also be evaluated on a different scale. The world of education is becoming a business more than an institution for learning which utterly disgusts me. In my time, we learned and had fun learning without these enormous expectations. I can honestly say that I am thankful that I am not a child attending school. I also cannot remember any of my teachers ever being observed. When administrators walk into a room, the room turns into freezing cold temperatures as the tension builds up leaving a feeling of uncomfortability in the air. Teachers teach differently, paraprofessionals are on edge, and students are nervous. If the "powers that be" are doing all of this to help the students as well as assist teachers to teach efficiently, in reality it is actually hurting us instead. I don't know what this world is coming to, but I will say that students today seem to run the asylum. I guess all this academic rigor is too much for them causing them to act up. When I was a student, I don't remember fights ever breaking out. Kids were not as angry, and most important, kids were kids. Teachers were teachers and had the power to educate their students the way they wanted. They did not have "vultures" looking over their shoulder every second. However, I will say not all administrators are vultures, but when they do come into a room the clarity of their visit fills the air with horrific trepidation that one cannot escape. Shame, shame, shame on the "powers that be!"

Troubled

This week I am feeling quite perplexed. I consider myself to be a pessimist. I wish that I wasn't, but one cannot change whom they're. I had a lot going on this week. My anxiety escalated that caused myself to go through a psychosis of trepidation. I interpret things very negatively and feel if something did not go well, it probably didn't. My family and friends lecture me that I cannot make predictions. However, lately I have been worse about believing negatively. I don't know why, but I do know that I have to try to be more positive, and hope for the best. Therefore, when I write it is like my very own therapy. Based on my recent anxiety, I wrote a poem which I would like your feedback.

Anxiety has taken over my inner being
It has taken over my very own soul
A monster lives within me
Taking over my thought process negatively
A strong person listens to the monster
Combats it with its own positive, wise voice
I must believe in me and that should set me free!

Teaching is Demeaning!

If you were to think of a profession that can be insulting, what would it be? Thanks to the new rating system, teachers definitely fit into this category. Teachers used to be rated by getting an E for excellence, S for satisfactory, or a u for unsatisfactory. It was not the best way to rate teachers. However, it was much better than it is now. The powers that be (I call them Lucifer) decided on a new plan. If you are a teacher or have a child that attends school, you know that your child gets his/her score based on a rubric generally scored from a level 1 (being low) to a 4 (high score). Today, they decided to rate teachers on the same scale of 1-4. Teachers are being equated as to how children are scored which is very demeaning. They are also being evaluated by surprise visits from assistant principals/principals. If you have a lesson prepared that you must do because it is part of the curriculum, but you don't feel strong or comfortable teaching it, then hold your breath. Prepare to score a 1. Teachers tend to get bad names from silly movies such as, "Bad Teacher." Unfortunately, they now made this into a TV show which I am sure is disgraceful. The new system puts pressure on teachers causing them to have an overabundance of stress which leads some to illness. Instead of nitpicking and analyzing teachers constantly, think of ways as a whole in order to appreciate teachers and take away some of the rigor and expectations from children. Remember, they are children and deserve to be until they reach adulthood. When teachers and staff feel appreciated, it motivates them to perform effectively. Don't treat teachers like children, but rather educators that were hired to help our future generations.

April 8, 2014
Dear Diary,

This may appear to be one of my strangest blogs by far. However, I am letting you in on my life tonight and I want to share with you a very emotional moment. Tonight, I am pretending that you are my diary and you are part of my deepest secrets, emotions, and inner being.
Tonight I went to my friend's wake. If you are reading this and you are young, you are probably thinking that I am elderly and my friend is in her seventies. However, I am young and my friend was only forty. Mastocytosis is what caused her demise as I have blogged about before. I never heard of this malicious, evil disease before her. At the wake, I saw beautiful photos her family displayed from her past. I looked at pictures of her from her childhood. She was an adorable girl. She also made a beautiful bridesmaid at her brother's wedding. I was able to see how the disease was able to cause her to look deteriorated. When I came home, I decided to go on Facebook and look her up. To my surprise, I found an old email she wrote me wishing my dog, Lucky a happy belated birthday. This put a tear and smile on my face as it showed me how selfless she really was. As sick as she was, she was kind enough to think of my dog. I know that she is no longer in pain, but hope that she is truly happy in a wonderful place as she deserves. Thank you diary for letting me vent my emotions.

PS As you can guess I am not attaching any videos or pictures as usual as you would not see that in a diary entry.

Farewell To A Dear Friend

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about my friend who was not doing too well in the hospital. She suffers from a horrid disease called, Mastocytosis. I wrote a previous blog about the disease as it is not too common. Unfortunately, my friend passed on last night. We all have guilt when someone dies. I feel bad that just this year, at my birthday, I did not really spend as much time with her as I would have liked. If you go in a large group, you generally hang out or gravitate toward two or three close friends and forget about the rest, which is not right, but it is a fact. At least, that is the way it is for me. Unfortunately, I can't say that I was truly close with her. I am thankful for the time we shared together. We once traveled with another close friend of mine to Texas. We went for vacation purposes and visited the Alamo. However, my tummy did not do too well in Texas so it was not the most memorable time for me. Two summers ago, my friend and I decided to have plans and go to a movie,. It would just be the two of us which is a first because we never hung out one on one before. It was always with a group. However, I cold honestly say that we both opened up to each other about many things. She opened up to me about her disease and that is when she had asked me to blog about it in hopes of educating others. I am truly thankful for the day that I was able to spend with her. In honor of my friend I am going to write a simple poem.

She is now an angel in heaven's sky
Did not have time to say goodbye
Inflicted with a rare disease since birth
Did not have too much time to spend on earth
She is no longer in pain and has been set free
Flying on her angelic wings, but taken too early.

Is change a good thing or a bad thing?

Some people like change. "Out with the old in with the new," is a common expression used. We can associate change with "Spring cleaning;" a term used when it is time to throw away the old and make room for new things. I, personally hate change. I like keeping old things and I guess Freud would consider me anal. Tonight, my husband updated my iPad and I was livid. I was upset because everything looks different. I detest that because I was quite comfortable the way things were. In terms of my writing, I don't mind change. For example, my novella, Ignition: An Educator's Journey changed dramatically from the original way I wrote it. It was originally written from a third person's point of view. This then changed to a first person's point of view, my main character, Karen Woolsworth. Later, I was told to add much dialogue so that the reader can fully be part of the characters' conversations. This kind of change, I did not mind. I rather enjoyed making all the changes as I knew it would better my book. However, it's the nitty gritty changes that involve updates on an iPad, cell phone, computer, cable service that I become uncomfortable with. I guess change can be good, but you have to want that change to take place. It can also be horrifying as well. For example, changing a job or moving to a new land. What do you feel about change? Is it time for you to do some spring cleaning in your life?

Marketing Yourself Is Not An Easy Task!

It is very hard for me to market myself. In the past when I first started blogging, I used to send my blog to celebrities. Naturally, I never heard a response. However, I secretively hoped that they read my blog. One time while getting my nails done, I mentioned my book to someone while we were drying our nails. She sounded interested, but you never know. It is very difficult for me to be aggressive and push my book. My husband has no problem promoting my book. In fact, he actually got positive feedback from someone he met on a train one day. The man he met purchased the book in front of my husband on his kindle. I deposited my first check from my book for one whole dollar. Yes it was only $1.00. Authors do not make much at all. We do it for the pleasure of writing; imagine that. Anyway, while depositing my check I decided to advertise myself to the bank teller. She wished me congrats but didn't really question me about my book too much. I did not have that salesman approach and let it go. I am a little lost for words and do not have any idea what to do in order to advertise myself. I do believe in my novella, Ignition: An Educator's Journey. However, my inner self prohibits me from advertising myself in a boastful manner. Any suggestions???